Introduction to Divorcing in Deschutes County

Hello, my name is Mike Sullivan and I’m a circuit court judge. I want to tell you about the process of obtaining a divorce in Deschutes County. What I’m about to tell you is not a substitute for legal advice.

The person who files for a dissolution of marriage, which is commonly called the divorce, is called the petitioner. The petitioner must complete the petition and pay a filing fee. If you have limited or no income, you can file a motion to waive the filing fee. The petition will include all the matters that must be resolved in the dissolution case including: child custody, parenting time, child and spousal support, and division of real estate, personal property and debts. It is important that you be thorough when you fill out the petition.

Deschutes County has a dissolution facilitator who works at the courthouse and can provide assistance in completing the forms. The facilitator is not allowed to give legal advice. If you have children you will need to attend an orientation workshop prior to meeting with the facilitator.

The petition must be personally served on your spouse who is called the respondent. You will need to file proof of service after the respondent is served. The respondent must file a written response to the petition within 30 days of service. A pretrial conference will be set by the court approximately 60 days after the date you filed the petition. This is not a trial date. You must appear in person or if you are not close to the courthouse you may appear by phone. If you have children, both parents must attend the divorcing parents seminar.

My name is Lamont Boileau and this is my wife Nancy. We are the providers for the seminar for divorcing parents-helping children cope with separation and divorce. The seminar is a one-time, four-hour class for parents with children who are going through separation or divorce. Both parents are required to attend the class, however you can attend together or on separate days. The seminars are held twice a month at the Rosie Bareis Community Campus. You only have to attend one class to satisfy the court requirement. There will be a one-time fee per parent.

There are three easy methods you can use to register for an upcoming seminar. One, you can pick up one of these information flyers at the information window at the courthouse. Simply fill it out, enclose your check or money order and mail it to the PO box provided. We’ve also made it easy to register online at copedeschutes.com. That’s c-o-p-e Deschutes dot com. You can pay with Visa or Mastercard online. And finally you can call our 24-hour line at 541-383-6789. Leave a message for the date you’d like to attend. Walkins are welcome on a space-available basis. Visa, Mastercard, cash or check are accepted at the door.

The U.S. census bureau estimates that 1.3 million divorces will be granted this year. About 60% of those involve children. Accordingly over one million children will go through the experience of their parents divorcing this year.

The divorce of one parent and the restructuring of the family are among the most painful and agonizing experiences for children of all ages. The problems created by divorce can remain a long-term burden for many children well into their adult lives.

The focus of our seminar is to help parents help their children cope with the impact the divorce is having on them. We now have the benefit of over 40 years of research and have a much better understanding of the impact of divorce on children. We know that divorce may create short-term and long-term struggles for children. We also know that parents’ actions and decisions have much to do with a child’s adjustment to the divorce.

The seminar addresses children’s’ needs throughout the divorce process and provides parent specific information and guidelines to follow to help meet those needs. Topics include the possible short and long-term effects of divorce on children, the divorce grief process, putting children in the middle of divorce, cooperative parenting, expected changes in parent-child relationships and the need for parenting plans.

You may be asking yourself, “why do I have to attend this class.” We’re not here to dictate how you parent or pass judgment on your parenting skills. Our intent is to help you find real application for parenting skills that will help your children survive the breakup and emerge as reasonably healthy individuals. Classes like these have been nationally field tested and have been found to be highly successful at reducing conflict between parents. Less conflict means less litigation, saving parents time and money in the long run. But more importantly less conflict means parents are modeling behavior that demonstrates they are keeping the psychological, emotional, and physical needs of their children a priority.

Remember, although the structure of the family is changing, one thing will never change. You will both be the parents of your children. And as their parent, you want to exemplify the type of behavior that makes them proud to love you both.

You may be required to participate in mediation if you are unable to agree on custody and parenting time.

May name is Dave Hakanson and I will be talking with you about the divorce mediation program. If you have children and you will not be living together, then you will need to create a parenting plan. A parenting plan is a document that describes how much time the children will be spending with each parent and how decisions about the children will be made in the future. The mediation program is one of the services that the court provides to parents who are going through divorce or were never married and have a child or are having difficulties after a divorce is already finalized.

There are three ways that I know of to create an agreed upon parenting plan. Parents can talk together on their own and fill out a form. Parents can use the mediation service and participate in meetings that are run by the mediator. And parents can also use the services that attorneys provide to help with communication and to understand their legal rights and responsibilities.

Sometimes it’s a combination of all three of these choices that will lead to an agreement on a parenting plan. Parents who do talk on their own or use the mediation service should get legal advice before making a final agreement on a parenting plan.

The mediator will run the meeting so that parents can carefully listen to each other’s ideas about what will be best for the children. There will be an opportunity for parents to consider all of the options and compare with each other the advantages and disadvantages of how to share in raising the children.

The mediator is an expert on running meetings and is an expert on how to draft a parenting plan, but the parents themselves are experts on their own children and they will have to come up with their own decisions about what is best for their own children.

The mediator will send a summary of the mediation sessions to both parents including a draft of a parenting plan if the parents can agree. The mediator will not, however, give any legal advice and parents should consult with an attorney about decisions that they reach during the mediation process.

If parents are unable to come up with an agreement on a parenting plan they will eventually have to go before the judge and the judge will have to make a decision. In that case the mediator will not be going to talk to the judge or write a report or make any recommendations.

So to get started with mediation you can just call the number on the mediation brochure and set up an appointment with a mediator. If the other parent doesn’t want to come to mediation you can submit a request form and the judge may order mediation. If you have any concerns about personal safety, let the mediator know before you set up an appointment so that the mediator can explain your options.

Here are the key points you should remember about the mediation service. Just call the mediation program to set up an appointment or request that mediation be ordered. Number two, let the mediator know about any concerns about personal safety. Number three, the mediator is neutral and will run the meetings so that parents will really listen to each other. And number four, get legal advice on decisions you reach during the mediation process. And then number five, mediation is confidential.

Good luck. I hope you can make an agreement about your children.

If you and your spouse reach an agreement about all the property, debt, custody, visitation and support issues, the petitioner will prepare a stipulated general judgment that contains the agreement and both of you must sign it. It may be possible to modify custody, visitation, or support matters in the future. Property and debt issues cannot be reviewed or changed after a general judgment is entered. There are other supporting documents that you must complete as well. The dissolution facilitator can assist you in helping you to complete the necessary forms, but again, that person cannot give you legal advice.

If you and your spouse cannot reach an agreement, the judge will set a trial date. It will generally take between four months to a year to get your case to trial. At trial, you will need to prepare your own exhibits, subpoena witnesses, and present your case without assistance from the judge or court staff. The judge will then decide all of the issues that you and your spouse cannot agree upon. (11:07)

After the judge makes a decision, the petitioner will have to complete the final documents consistent with the judge’s rulings. It is always best to have an attorney if you go to trial because they are familiar with the law and court procedures.  You can contact the Oregon State Bar at 1-800-452-8260 for a referral to a local family law attorney.

If you are very limited income you can ask about the modest means program where they will give you the names of attorneys who will provide legal services at a lower rate. If you have child custody issues, extensive property or debt or retirement accounts, I strongly urge you to obtain legal advice.

If you cannot afford to hire an attorney, at least get a consultation. There are some other options you may want to consider. One option is mediation. A mediator is a trained individual who can work with both spouses to see if the issues can be settled. Deschutes county divorce mediation programs can help you reach an agreement regarding child custody and parenting time. This service is free but does not provide assistance on any issues other than child custody and parenting time. There are private attorneys and mediators who can assist you for a set fee and can address all the issues in dispute.

If you do not have children and neither spouse is requesting spousal support, your case can be arbitrated. An arbitrator is an experienced attorney who will make a decision like a judge. The arbitrator charges a set fee for the arbitration services.

Some attorneys will provide limited legal services. This allows you to select the level of legal services you believe you need. Limited legal services may keep down the cost of legal advice.

Another new option in our community is collaborative law. In collaborative law situations, both parties are represented by an attorney, but everyone agrees they will not take the case to trial. The divorce case is settled through a team approach.

The judges and staff of the Oregon Judicial Department have worked hard to provide a variety of services for those seeking a dissolution of marriage. These services are not legal advice. It is strongly suggested you consult with an attorney if at all possible. We cannot act as your attorney, advisor or advocate. We understand the process may be difficult for some and emotional for others. As we work together, we request your patience, attention to detail and prompt attendance at court pre-trial conferences, hearings and trials.

Although no outcome can be promised on any issue, the vast majority of those seeking a dissolution of marriage are successful in this goal. We look forward to working with you.

For more information:

Contact the Deschutes County Courthouse

1164 NW Bond Street
Bend, OR 97701
541.388-5300

courts.oregon.gov/deschutes